even when it gets uncomfortable

 As a teen, I wanted to fit in. 

The desire to be like those I deemed popular was more important than most other things. I didn't want to say something and risk being called a nerd or a loser. If it seemed most of my peers were doing something, then I should do it too. So much pressure to "be cool" was, not only placed on myself but, also the magazines I chose to read and the shows I chose to watch. All exemplified similar behavior, style of clothes and attitudes that would deem one "cool" or "popular". 

I would like to think that, now that I am an adult, this idea to fit in or be popular would have subsided because I am much more wise, mature and way too above that sort of thought. Unfortunately, that is not the case. When I first started blogging, I would look at other blogs to compare what I was doing. Not only would I look at overall design and aesthetic but, I would pay close to attention the topics being discussed. 

What themes and topics, by these other writers, gained the most positive attention? That is what I'm after. Because goodness I don't want any negative attention! I wanted people to follow me and read what I shared all while avoiding as much negativity and criticism as necessary. After all, positive and good conversation is what will win people to an everlasting life with Jesus. Conversations that end with a pretty bow on top and an even prettier graphic is what will win hearts and souls! Gentle words and kind reminders were characteristics of these other blogs and I knew that if I wanted to be part of the "in crowd", it was what my blog had to portray as well. 

After all, the Fruits of the Spirit give us the framework for how we are to filter our life, right? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control. All good things. In fact, there is no law against them. (Galatians 5:22-23) So, everything I would share would align to these fruits. Loving, joyful, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful and with a good dose of self-control! These are characteristic of who Jesus is and we are told to be like Him, right? (Ephesians 5:1-2)

***insert loud screeching brakes***

The past few months God has been doing some deep refining in my soul. Being refined is uncomfortable, painful and time consuming. When God is refining, He is doing some cleaning that isn't just surfacey and pretty. No, it is deep and He is digging out the impurities so that His goodness can take over. The result? Something beautiful. Something that was worth the discomfort, pain and long wait. 

The problem with striving for popularity is that it is counter-productive to what God is wanting us to do. When Jesus was traveling, teaching and preaching, He was not popular with the Sadducees nor the pharisees. In fact, He went against anything that was dubbed "popular" or what the "cool kids" were doing. His frame of mind and stance were Heavenly and perfect. Many lifestyle choices, that local societies had normalized, He came in and said to knock it off. He called people out on their lack of faith and way of life. His approach was not popular but, people still listened because He is God, of course. Jesus was not afraid of what was to come. He knew He would die an unfathomable death for the very people that persecuted Him. 

Now that, my friend, is LOVE. He exuded patience as He taught to people who questioned and doubted Him. There was joy inside of Him as He recollected how close, and in community, He, God and the Holy Spirit are. Three in One. His peace was a soul peace and not outward. We live in a very volatile world that is raging with war and words and all kinds of evil. But, as believers, we have an inner peace knowing Who holds our tomorrows. He is good so, we are good. He is forgiving so we can give that same forgiveness. He is faithful to God's word and truth so, we should be as well. Even when it isn't popular or fitting the "catch phrase" of the church today. 

Following Jesus can be a lonely place. Especially when the world around us is falling apart. Especially when fellow believers seem to be following the popularity faith rather than the Biblical faith. Morals and values become skewed because it doesn't sound awful and seems to fit the narrative of showing love. Listen friends, love does not equate accepting sin. Love is just as influential when it exposes and tells truth. Love doesn't always feel nice and lovey and cozy. Jesus was filled with LOVE and died a very painful death. THAT is love. Love can be painful but only for our betterment. Love isn't what we always want to hear but, when it is aligned with the Word of God, it is the BEST thing we can hear. 

So what does all this mean? It means I am tired to trying to fit the status quo when it comes a pretty, lovey, female driven blog. God has been telling me over and over that I can't stand in the gray area nor sit on the fence any longer. It will be risky but, I am willing to risk many things if it means I'm being obedient to God and His Word. 

He has called me to write. To write about the uncomfortable. To write about the unpopular opinions. To seek what scripture has to say versus what the popular Christian influencers on social media have to say. Popular Christianity does not equal Biblical Christianity and, if I'm going to be someone who says she stands firm on the Word of God then I have to put that into action. 

What you can expect from me moving forward is I will be going head on with social issues and many other taboo topics that Christians and the church seem to ignore. I won't be afraid to hurt feelings and I won't be afraid of confrontation. Because I know that God has already gone before me and prepared the way. The battle has already been won. And it's time to speak truth and not back down. 

I'm diving in. Welcome to The Profound Brunette - pursuing God even when it gets uncomfortable.